It was one of those dreams that's strange to wake up from because it seems so real.

It started out in a giant white building that was simple but elegant, and I was inside. I was walking up a long flight of stairs to a higher floor where I met Regina, our case worker with our international adoption agency. Regina and I then continued on together, talking as we walked. It seemed as though we were preparing for a meeting of some sort; the feel of the event was serious, but full of an excited anticipation.

We came to a large room that was set up like a lecture hall. I went in and sat down with a hundred others, and listened to someone who spoke about what to expect next. It was very vague, and the focus of that part of my dream wasn't so much the content of the meeting as it was an introduction to the rest of what happened. When the meeting ended, people got up and went on their way to various parts of the building. Regina and I walked toward the South Korea room.

As we meandered through the other people toward our destination, we passed various other rooms that belonged to different countries, and housed children ranging in age from infants to teenagers. I remember one little girl in a room we passed, who was clearly in control of her little world. She was about 6, had bobbed brown hair and brown eyes, and was feared by all of her peers. I don't know which room she was in but as we passed by, my heart went out to her and I wished she could feel love.

After passing the China room, which was completely full of small babies and their caretakers, we arrived at the Korea room. I looked at Regina, who nodded, and then opened the door and walked in. Inside were three children, quietly playing. My eyes went immediately to a little boy who was about 4 years old. He was with his father, a sweet old man with graying black hair and a tiny frame. The little boy looked up at me with beautiful brown Asian eyes, and he smiled.

I went to the boy and his father, and sat on the floor to watch them play. There was no talking, but somehow we were all connected. There was an intense love between the boy and the man, and they drew me into it. We spent many hours together, which may have been days or months - I don't know. And then, the man looked at me and told me something with his eyes. I knew then that he was dying, and so did the boy. He didn't have much time left to spend with his son, but he wasn't worried or anxious. He had been preparing for this day, and that was why I was there.

There was a ceremony to celebrate the life of the old man. He was dearly loved and respected by all who knew him, and I felt privileged to have been a part of his last days.

The little boy held the wisdom of the old man in his eyes now, along with a deep sadness. But he was content and he was happy in spite of the tragedy of his story. He looked up at me again with a smile that held a thousand sorrows, and he took my hand. And together we walked out of the giant white building, hand in hand.

The old man spoke then, for the first time in my dream, as if he were speaking directly to my heart from heaven. He thanked me for the gift I was giving this little boy, and in my heart I thanked him for the gift he had given me.
 
 
In the adoption world, delays are expected - especially when you're adopting internationally. When we chose the Korea program, I was impressed with the way everything was laid out. The timeline looked so nice and neatly packaged. We would start out as number 12 on the list of families waiting for boys, and steadily move up the list until we were at the top, probably within about 8-10 months. Then, we would receive our referral and wait to travel to pick up Leonard child #4.

And we were expecting delays.

What we weren't expecting was to be at #7 now, and to hear from our agency that we could expect our referral in as little as two months!

Now, I'm all about getting our referral as soon as possible (although I know once we have a face and a name, it will be very difficult to have to wait to go pick up our little goober). The problem is my faith. See, it's a little...lacking. At best.

Two months doesn't leave me much time to be the hero and figure our how we can "miraculously" scrounge up $17,000. It's not like I'll find that under our couch cushions! It doesn't leave room for the fundraisers we'd planned because those take 8-10 weeks just for approval, and we're still waiting on the last bit of paperwork to come in the mail for our application! It doesn't leave room for much of anything, because things take time in the world of fundraising, and our adoption timeline was supposed to line up nicely with that.

But as I shake my fist at the God who called us to visit orphans in their distress, I remember what it means that He is God. This wasn't my idea; it was His first. So my fist has to drop to my lap as I hang my head and open my hands to Him.

Do you ever see a verse written somewhere and know that God was sending that straight to your heart? I got one of those yesterday. Actually, I got the same one twice, from two different sources:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." - John 14:27

So we'll wait on God to act, because to Him, it doesn't matter if we have two years or two days. Two months? Makes no difference. God knows we need help to do this. He knows we can't carry this burden on our own shoulders in this short amount of time. He knows that I tend to get stressed about money - because I don't trust Him the way that I should. He knows our weakest points, and uses them for His glory.

So I'm praying like crazy that our Father will look on us with favor and that He will equip us to go, right on time. And He has given me His peace.